“You are so strong”
“How do you handle all of that”
“you are so tough”
“I can handle it I’m tough”…I’m getting almost sick of hearing that and saying that to myself. I used to take pride in the past issues I’ve faced with how I confidently smashed through even the toughest of issues, coming out unfazed, unfaded. IVF has sucked that life right out of me and then some.
Today, I started my very first injection of PIO (progesterone in oil.) Now trust me, I’ve taken shots before…teeny tiny needle, grab a bunch of chub in the belly, can’t even feel it! This sucker…well, this one is a 22G needle. Its long, intimidating, and it goes in my butt. The thought of jamming this thing into my ass kept me up for 2 nights. I literally dreamt about it the night before. Can I remind you…I’m a nurse! Feeling like a pathetic one a that. When it comes to yourself, or your family, the nursing hat flies right out the window and you are left dumbfounded like you never took care of a patient a day in your life!
What are the PIO shots for…
I began taking these shots as part of a testing sequence call an era biopsy (Endometrial receptivity analysis.) Its an addition to the 5 final days of about a 20 day medication binge before the biopsy. Basically, in a nut shell, its a pre-transfer mock up (a fake transfer) where they do everything in the protocol up until they are ready to transfer my little embaby…except instead of giving me my little frozen snowflake of joy, they scrap the shit out of my uterus and charge me $800. All so they can get a scientific “road map” of when the perfect time to put the embryo in would be. sounds fun huh?
I have pretty much dreaded this test since the day we decided to do it. Typically, ERA biopsies, also known as estrogen priming, is done when someone who had a bank of frozen, priceless embabies. They have attempted to transfer one, 2 or more of those, and they have failed to implant in the lining of the uterus the way the fertilized egg normally would when someone gets pregnant
So why am I doing one you ask?? HA, apparently I love torture in all forms, j/k…so remember how I said above it provides a road map? Well after 2 rounds of IVF, I was only left with one embryo. One. perfect. squishy. embryo. He or she is frozen in the lab, and has been for quite some time!
My doctors and I, thought that doing this, would give my little frozen nugget the best opportunity to snuggle into that lining of my uterus, and get SO comfortable, he or she will want to stay.
Estrogen smestrogen…
So the protocol goes a little something like this…
Get your monthly friend, go get the typical 2= Bloodwork and ultrasound, then start taking good old estrogen…3 times per day…for more days than i can count. best part, its not a pill you take by mouth. haha, oh no no…oral pill turned suppository, although, not up the back shoot, more like the front. actually it was 15…15 long days, then back for another typical 2 (bloodwork, ultrasound). NEEdles needles everywhere!! add some quarantine, school closure, husband and i working from home…sounds like a nice little cocktail for divorce or driving off a cliff right? It definitely has been a tough time all around. It pretty much makes my body feel like a fun house. i’m not going to lie, it really sucks to feel out of control of how you feel.
So back to this shot…For those of you have have been feeling just like me, I had myself worried for nothing! I aimed for the target, and stuck it in steady. The needle looks scarier than it is. It slid in so nicely that I didn’t feel a thing, and did’t feel it while It was in either. I actually chuckled when I put it in. I hyped myself up so much, and it was nothing. NOTHING! I pushed the fluid in slowly but steadily, it didn’t burn, and when I was done injecting, I kept the needle in for a bit to allow the solution to dissolve a bit into my tissue before removing the needle. I do that because if you pull it out as soon as injected, some of the solution will leak from the injection site. I did have a bit of leakage, but not much.
Going back to my training as a nurse, I see a lot of women get bruises from the injections, one way to reduce the bruising would be to not push the needle in slowly, but to “jab” the needle in quickly. Also, to make sure you send the needle in straight without twisting it around. The quicker and straighter you inject, the least amount of trauma to the tissue. But, you ultimately have to choose the best way for you, and what you are comfortable with! Best tips for training, and training husbands, try injecting an Orange! its the most lifelike thing to real skin. So, moral of the story to all of you lovely ladies that are scared with every new step…this one, you will be just fine at!
Next stop…Biopsy time. ERA is scheduled for April 2nd. I’m thankful during this quarantine time that this hasn’t been canceled for me. Its a step standing in the way of my transfer. this step unfortunately has been set back for me for various reason in the past. This test should have technically been done about 2 months ago…but as I’m told over and over…and over…gods plan, not mine. Story of my life…
“The strongest women, become the strongest mothers before their children are even conceived”