Once upon a time…A girl met a handsome man on Tinder…
They went out on a date, where the restaurant was closed… during a blizzard. The girl saved the day, when the man panicked, she stole his heart by taking him to a BBQ restaurant. They ended up at a bar where they quickly met family, shared their first kiss, and first bar fight. The night was coming to an end, but they said no way! They ended up at Eat N’ Park in the opposite direction, after the man serenaded the girl with “hello” from Adelle. The late night journey to eat chocolate cake and mozzarella sticks.
That was when it happened…the girl found out…
That if she stayed with this handsome man…
(dun dun daaaaaaa)
she would need IVF to ever have the baby she dreamed about….
Super Romantic right? But on a serious note, when I met my husband…I literally found out on the first date, that again…life wouldn’t be easy. We sat eating chocolate cake discussing my list, (more like a funny/semi-serious interview) and I asked my top deal breaker question. “Are you willing to have more children?” Now, some of you may be confused…a list? Intense much? he didn’t run away? (spoiler alert, he didn’t) It was a hypothetical “list” that him and I joke about. Listen, after the relationship I had prior to this…my own episode series of “Who the F$%k did I Marry” I wasn’t about to waste someone’s time, or mine, if I could find out the openness from the beginning. and trust me, I did it in a cool girl way, not a psycho way or anything!
My husband had 2 children already when I had met him, which was scary to me to begin with. Thank god I had chocolate cake when he revealed that it would be more difficult than “normal” for him to answer that because, he had a Vasectomy after his 2nd. Ugh…
He followed it up with: “If I ended up with someone that wanted a child and never had one, there are other options if it gets that serious,” and “it is reversible.” I left that night so excited to have connected with someone the way I did Ron. There was something about him that drew me into him and excited me so much. Even though I almost blew him off that night…He gave me the butterflies (and still does, but sometimes they are killer butterflies) and was such a manly man. Unlike my ex, he was the type I had always hoped I would be with. Tall Dark and handsome, a little facial hair, and muscles!! Bulk! He was funny, and sweet, and so impressive that he raised 2 girls on his own as a single dad. He was ambitious, had a great job, and you could tell from the day you meet him, a heart the size of Texas and as golden as they come.
But…man, that damn snip… could I get past it? there were options right? so it wasn’t a final…do I let something so unknown stop me from falling in love?
I took the plunge…and the chance…
I knew from the first month I was with him
that he was my person.
I had no idea what I was in for…
Ron and I got engaged Dec 2016 and began our long journey of checklist items, and there were many. Selling my rental, moving me into his very compact home, renovating his tiny home with 4 people living there, selling his home, getting married, AND building our dream home. Honestly, there were days were it felt like it would never work out.
Story. Of. My. LIFE! Nothing has ever been easy for me, but I’m a fighter, a warrior, a survivor of bullshit…why would this be any different. I was also an optimist, a glass half full girl and follower of the lord, knowing that he has something better behind every struggle. By the grace of god…every little thing that needed to happen…happened. AND, it happened right when it needed to happen. Every piece of the puzzle fell into place, it was almost scary.
We moved into our home and got Married April 7 in Las Vegas! It wasn’t the wedding of my dreams, but I had Ron. We had both had big weddings in the past…even though mine was fake (thats for another blog post) Vegas was my favorite city, and it was cool to do it Vegas style! We were those crazy people…and life just looked a little different
Dec 2018
Ron and I finally scheduled our first appointment with the fertility clinic. We were happy to find out, that we had the “Cadillac of Insurance” in terms of IVF. This was a huge stress off of me, however even with insurance, it still would cost us thousands. But this gave some relief as the cost was one of the consistent worries since the day I met Ron. We determined that we wouldn’t focus too much on a reversal, as our insurance paid for the majority of IVF. We quickly set up testing. My fertility doctor said…go get me sperm! Since Ron had the vasectomy, he made his consultation with the urologist, discussed our desires, and determined that we would in fact go straight to sperm removal or for him and IVF for me.
I had no idea, the world I was about to step into. The struggles we would face, the emotional impact all this would end up having on me, our marriage, and how isolating it is. To me, this seemed, dare I say, easy! I was young, healthy, never had any issues. There is no way this won’t work. Learning experience however, it was…I have been a nurse at this point 13 years, I learned so much during this process that I never knew, including how weak I actually was as a person…and as a woman.
to be continued….
